Aparigraha -Letting go of greed and attachment
Is your action based on a desired outcome?
Whenever you start your day, your yoga practice, work session, gym session, new project, new relationship, new year, "new life"... What will usually be your intention? Be honest with yourself.
Many of us might have a habit of starting something with the intention of "what am I going to achieve from this?" It might be something very specific, which is totally understandable! It's good to set a goal, and it's even better to be specific. But while you're considering what you're going to achieve, are you also considering what you have to offer to your journey? And are you considering the many unexpected diversions you may meet along the way, and how you will respond to them?
Often, we spend so much time and energy trying to control an outcome that it stops us from being fully present in the moments along the way and enjoying the journey itself with all it has to offer. We might have the expectation that the entire journey should be "enjoyable" so we try and control it that way, and suffer when it's not – but life is asking us to be fully present with what is.
The not so enjoyable moments are equally as valuable, and if we aren't embracing the fullness of them, we might miss out on valuable lessons that contribute towards our growth. Can we learn to accept that if things don't turn out the way we want them to, that's ok!? We can acknowledge it, and allow ourselves to experience the emotions, then return to the task with a trust in the timing of the universe and our path.
Aparigraha is the 5th Yama of Patanjali's Eight Limbs of Yoga.
The Yamas are moral guidelines, assisting us with how we nourish the relationship with ourselves and the world around us. This Yama encourages us to notice if we are taking more than we need, or what isn't meant for us, and to focus on the action & journey itself, rather than the fruit of the action. The practice of non-hoarding suggests letting go of attachmentsto possessions, ideas and outcomes. It's an encouragement to focus on offering our service without feeling entitled to anything because of it. Our ego loves to take. It likes to give as well, but it appreciates giving more when there is an expectation of getting something else in return. When you give something, are you already thinking about what you are going to request in return? Do you ever offer something unconditionally from your heart, without the expectation of a reward? This is what the Yama Aparigraha is trying to teach us about. The concept of Aparigraha is central in the ancient text the Bhagavad-Gita:
Let your concern be with the action alone, and never with the fruits of action. Do not let the result of your action be your motive, and do not be attached to inaction. -Krishna
It's a form of discipline and commitment to the path of liberation from suffering. I've added some verses from the book below. The text might seem harsher in the book than what we might practice in the 21st century, but it gives us a good understanding of what Patanjali based the Yamas on.
The forth teaching verse 15: "What is action? What is inaction? Even the poets were confused - what I shall teach you of action will free you from misfortune."
The forth teaching verse 21: "He incurs no guilt if he has no hope, restrains his thought and himself, abandons possessions, and performs actions with his body only."
The forth teaching verse 22: "Content with whatever is by chance, beyond dualities, free from envy, impartial to failure and success, he is not bound even when he acts."
The forth teaching verse 23: "When a man is unattached and free, his reason deep in knowledge, acting only in sacrifice, his action is wholly dissolved."
I encourage you to pick up the Bhagavad-Gita yourself and read the forth teachings (or the entire book) to better understand the context of giving up action based on desire.
This is the copy I have of the book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bhagavad-Gita-English-Bantam-Classics/dp/0553213652
Greed is often associated with material possessions…
but ask yourself: What might I be hoarding right now? Yes, it might be material possesions, but it might be that you're also clinging onto feelings, emotions, past experiences, expectations for something or someone, the need to be right, events, people, relationships. Maybe an event happened that gave you a limiting belief, and now you don't want to let it go... You might even feel like it belongs to you, or owns you somehow?
Since everything is impermanent, nothing truly belongs to us in the long run. Yet, we try so hard to control and hold on.
Aparigraha encourages to take only what you need, keep only what serves us in the moment and to let go when the time is right. Something that was meant for you 5 years ago might have had great value and purpose for you then but with time, things shift... and we need to tap into our water element to be adaptive and 'go with the flow of life' if we want to avoid suffering.
Aparigraha also is less about getting rid of what we own / experience, but more about making sure that the thing / experience doesn't own us.
The tighter we hold on, the more we are weighed down when we lose it.
Can we invite ourselves to hold life more lightly and lovingly, to enjoy the present moment fully, and to release the things that no longer serves our journey? If we hold on too tight to the past, we fail to see the enormous potential that lies before us in this present moment.
Things you can do to practice Aparigraha:
Breath-work
The breath is a perfect reminder to go with the flow. Trust that what you need will always come back to you. We don’t hold onto our breath with the fear that we might not inhale again – we just trust.
Tonglen: Rather than exhaling what no longer serves you, can you instead exhale love, and rather than inhaling goodness and strength, can you inhale someone else's struggle and pain? This breath technique is based on an ancient buddhist practice known as 'Tonglen', and it aims to increase our capacity for compassion. Inhaling the pain of another might no be appealing to you. However look at the beautiful purpose behind it: By seeing the pain or difficulty of another, it teaches us about our own, and instantly lets us know that none of us are alone in suffering. Through this knowledge we are better able to exhale more love and compassion into the world.
Mudras
Pushpanali mudra is a great reminder to hold things lightly and lovingly.
Pushpa means flower, and Anjali refers to the folded hands mudra to show respect.
In this mudra you can imagine holding beautiful & delicate flowers in your hand. The flowers symbolise your possessions, relationships, or experiences. You don't want to hold on too tight, because you might break the flower and prevent it from blossoming. If you hold on to it for too long, you might bond an attachment to it and suffer when it blossoms out of your hand and control. You want to hold the flowers lightly and lovingly and let them blossom and grow in their own time.
Declutter
Have a look through your "stuff" and ask yourself: When I look at the things around my home, do they bring a sense of expansion and lightness, or contraction and heaviness? Is this serving me right now, or can it serve someone else better?
Focus on the intention, not the expectation
As yourself: why did I start this task in the first place? How can I embrace this journey with all that is here, in this present moment, and see it as a gift of opportunity?
An example could be the expectation of having a huge following / engagement on instagram or full classes when you are teaching. Why is this important to you? Who are you trying to prove something to? Is this relevant for your intention? or it this your ego interfering with the need to be validated? Feeding the ego might feel good for a short time, but you want to focus on the higher purpose for your own growth.
Forgive
As human beings, we hold on to so many memories, past experiences that have hurt us (more than what didn't hurt us), grudges towards people that stood in your way. Sometimes, an experience can own us. This can be a sensitive and difficult one to take control over... Traumas are difficult to deal with (and often requires professional assistance). They can take control over us, and stand as blockages on our path. I'm not asking you to judge yourself here, but rather become aware and then invite ownership and forgiveness. Inviting ownership does not mean that you're taking the responsibility for what happened to you. But it might be hard to let go unless this thought-process happens (if you own something, it's yours to let go of). Forgiveness doesn't mean that you think what happened to you was ok. It means that you are choosing to work through to let go, for your own growth, because you love yourself, and to get closer to your own Truth. You're reclaiming your power. Ultimately, when you are deeply connected to your own Truth, you are showing up in the most authentic and peaceful way for everyone around you too.
Loving Kindness
Additional to the Tonglen breath-work above, you can practice Tonglen as a loving kindness meditation (sometimes offered in my classes).
- I hope this was insightful. Feel free to let me know your thoughts!
